Partying is pointless to me. Ok, let me be specific. College partying is stupid. I just don't understand the hype and talk about how great it is to get drunk all the time. I just don't get it. I would rather spend valuable time with people that actually love and care about me than getting so wasted I don't know who I was or what I did the night before. That's a very scary place to be! It's just a big waste of time and money too.

So tonight instead of hitting greek row for the party scene, I got lost. Haha. I went to a birthday party for a dear friend of mine. It was at the same place I stayed this summer, so why did I get lost? Traffic was bad so I got off the next exit thinking I could get to the business road(99) that would take me right to the house I was going to. Nope. I went through side streets, by the zoo, somewhere near the waterfront, back by the zoo, the wrong way on the business street I was trying to get to, back around near the the zoo, and finally got to 99. I had left a 1/2 hour early preparing myself for traffic and realized 45 min later I should've stayed on the freeway.It would've been faster than the way I took. I finally got to the party (a 1/2 hour late) but I found some Truth in all of this.

Having a relationship with God is not an easy task. Just like any other relationship, it takes hard work, commitment, faith, and trust to make it work. It's the frustrating, uneasy, sometimes painful parts that bring the most testimony and value to the relationship. Of course the joyful, releasing, and unity bring power to the relationship, but it's the difficulties that make the journey a true journey. Now it's easy for me to say,"It's hard but it will be fine in the end," but it's another thing to actually be going through one of those tough and painful parts and still be able to say,"it'll be fine in the end." That's where the faith and trust part come in. When God believes you are ready, He will ask you to give pieces of your heart to Him, even though you may think you can't do it. The key is, He won't take that piece of your heart that you hold onto so tightly unless you give it to Him.

So right now as I'm walking through the garden with Jesus, He's asking me to give something so valuable and precious to me, and place it in His hands. He's placing in front of me a decision that I don't think I'm ready to make. What do I do? Already I'm praying, seeking guidance, analyzing my heart, but there's still a big part of me that just doesn't want to let go. I think eventually I will give it up to Him, but right now, I'm going to drive down some back streets, around the zoo a couple of times, and down by the waterfront, to make sure that when I say," here's my heart God," I 100% truly give it to Him, and not just say the words.